The Varietist II - Handicapped?

What does it mean to be truly handicapped? In my opinion someone that is truly handicapped is someone with a birth defect or a victim of a tragic accident that cannot help their current physical condition, not someone that is so incredibly obese that they can’t walk two steps without having a massive heart attack. I see the same thing day in, day out. It is rare to see someone that is truly handicapped pull into a handicapped parking spot. It is usually a 500 pounder gripping the door and the door frame trying to muster super human upper body strength to slowly force themselves out of their car, reminiscent of trying to fit your feet in a shoe that is 5 sizes too small. I propose a different type of license plate for obese people. This plate will identify them as fat, disgusting, lazy inconsiderate people. Then there could be a specific parking area for these behemoth’s in the farthest area of the parking lot. This may help burn more calories and then maybe they will actually enjoy the possibility of seeing their feet in the future. Imagine the revenue that would be generated by the thousands of tickets written to these gluttons. Or maybe they would drop dead from exhaustion or a heart attack. How much money would that save the country in social security and disability costs? Think about it…Does the handicapped sign in the first few spots have a picture of 500lbs of chewed bubble gum? No. It has a picture of some unfortunate disabled person in a wheel chair. In their defense they do spend some time in a handicap vehicle. They are the same fat, disgusting, geometric enigma’s that steal those motorized hover rounds at the grocery store before someone with a real disability can get to one. I am surprised at the weight those things can handle. You know the person in which I speak of…The same one that makes you sick when you glance down at the fat pouring over their ankles like a pot filled to capacity with overflowing molten taffy. Help me make them healthier. Every time you see one use their weight as an excuse to inconvenience a person with a legitimate handicap, just roll a donut into traffic and help them reach a true level of disability.