The Varietist
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As I sit with my brother and our children, I see a dark mass shading all light as if a solar eclipse is taking place. I am not certain the gender of this behemoth…I can only state the obvious…This is the largest mass of fat I have ever encountered in all of my life. It waddled up to the breakfast bar at our local Big Boy and loaded 5 plates to capacity with the most artery clogging food imaginable. The mountain of eggs…14 pancakes…Countless sausage patties…and a pile of bacon was just the first trip. I have never seen a human being with the stomach capacity it had. The weight of the first trip alone is enough to crush a small dog. I guarantee that the restaurant took a financial beating from its visit. I wondered while staring at its buccula (a loose, saggy mass of flesh underneath its chin) how it got to be the size it is today. Perhaps it consumed its parents for trying to hinder its eating habits…Or is it one of those gland things??? Either way, it was frightening to watch. The most disturbing thing wasn’t the fact that it hunched over its food as if to ward off other beasts, or its barkled (encrusted with dirt; especially to describe a person’s skin) complexion that rained down dead skin all over the buffet resembling the first flurries of winter. It was the in depth conversation it was having with itself as it hunched over its prey. I didn’t get close enough to hear the obviously insane buffalo’s argument it was having with itself for fear of being consumed. If it was to try and eat me I am not sure my best fight would have been good enough to stop me from being desert. When it decided to come up for air, I saw egg crumbs and hot sauce running down the crack of its mouth where the mouth and cheek meet. The red colloidal gel slowly making its way to this monsters shirt reminded me of a pride of lions feeding at a zebra carcass as it raised its massive head to get a view of who might be looking at its kill. As a piece of bacon flew from the table and landed on the restaurant floor, I wasn’t surprised to see it pick up the floor spice covered meat and send it to a direct route to its humongous mouth. While the beast bent over to retrieve this tainted strip of bacon, I couldn’t help but appreciate the mechanics involved with such a feat. For this thing to double over its own belly with the speed and accuracy displayed was truly a modern marvel. Whatever this foul creature is classified as, I am certain it falls under an invertebrate. There is no way that human bones could support such weight. I noticed the restaurant manager reluctantly approach its eating space and change his mind at the last minute..I believe he was going to give it an entire brisket to help relieve the buffet staff as I am sure they were winded from the numerous sprints it took to re-stock the breakfast bar because of this creature. In closing, if you happen to see this land whale beached at its favorite trough…Do not approach it as it may devour you like the true varietist (a person with unorthodox appetites) it is.
Your sick infatuation
Hearing you describe this blob of a human eat is like listening to (reading, I know) a twisted narration of a "chubby chaser" porno, almost like your the director. You weren't grossed out by your vision at brunch, you were turned on! You memorized the way the sauce dripped across a fold and sounds (mating calls to you) in your head as descriptively as someone would want to remember a thing of remarkable beauty, artwork, or an actual beautiful WOMAN. In your case it is probably a good idea to single out the weight inpared.... you probably refer to it as "pleasingly plump". I hear they are VERY thankful. You stand a MUCH better chance of not being turned down. Your brittle ego probably can't sustain much more rejection. And good for you... at some very far stretch of the imagination, it is an actual REAL woman for once. Every man deserves to give his hand a rest once in a while. Sitting on it till it falls asleep shouldn't be enough to convince yourself that it's someone else's, still you on you.
So, don't hide behind your passions. If the thought of cankles tightly bound wrapped in panyhose, like a sausage link, then crammed into orthopedic shoes turns you on, no need to fake disgust and hide like a coward. Where some men may be turned on by hot chics in hotel rooms, you prefer fat chics at buffets, but it's okay.... your doing the best you can given what you have to offer.
redhead shannon
Nice
I am surprised you spit the penis out of your mouth long enough to get to a computer. Congratulations on being one of those rare women that are able to put a halfway decent response together.
Or are you one of those men with a womans name that sits when he urinates? How many "chubby chaser" porno's do you have in your collection to be able to make such an assessment?
Trying to use my powers of description to spin it as if I was attracted to this gargantuan is weak. If you were fortunate enough to know me on a personal level you would know that my tastes dont lye in obese women...They lye in my ability to talk little harlets like yourself out of your rarely worn panties. I love your reply...You got talent..But always remember you have been analy entered and therefore are uncapable of insulting anyone that hasnt been. But please keep posting my little red pin cushion.
You have NO idea....
Maybe I took the penis out of my mouth and MAYBE I am so damn tallented that I can still have a thought in my wee little brain while it's still in my mouth. MMM.... I will assure you that I am a rarety, not neccessary when it comes to calling you out, any idiot can see thru you. I have never personally seen any chubby porn, but I thought the "wap wamp" music from a 70's porn was going to start to play out of my speakers any second. I have been analy entered? You have an anal fixation now FMD?
redhead shannon
Fatty Mc Nasty
You want to know the kicker.... these are the same people we see that require the "special" transportation at the grocery stores, take up handi-cap parking spaces and are most likely "disabled" due to their self inflicted lardness. So, bottom line is: those of us that work for a living actually paid for that meal.
Agreed!
We paid for that meal in many different ways. The fact that people like this are able to qualify as handicapped makes me sick....You know what??? Thanks for the inspiration! Keep a look out for "Handicapped". This post will be a good one!