The Close

How many dates does it take to punish the pouch? I have a female friend that is in extreme heat. She walks around all day complaining about some hand job that she has been on over 5 dates with and he wont even give her the ol stink finger. If after 5 dates your man isn’t third knuckle deep into your empty eye socket then there is only a few explanations… 1. He is a fag. 2. He has a small rod and wants you to like him for who is so his small tally whacker can be over looked. 3. You are probably a fat chick and he is just bored. My advice to her is to hide the kankles, get a push up bra and just grab his rubber paper thimble and guide it into your docking station. The female in mention is actually quite hot. Most likely this guy does indeed have a valve stem where his tool should be. If I were in his place I would have given her the bowling ball grip after date 2 then thrown her at my ten pin just for starters. As far as Mr. Small is concerned…Take the advice of Mr. Ted Nugent “When in doubt, whip it out!”. You have nothing to lose but your dignity and self respect…and eventually your life if your yogurt slinger is indeed the size of a knuckle hair.