Karma-Revised

The fecal boomerang has definitely made its round trip back into my life. Let me sum up Friday the 6th for you FMD fans. My car got towed this morning. I was stuck in traffic with someone else's car in downtown Detroit during the Stanley Cup parade. I had 3 customers with issues that were detrimental to running their business. I found out I am getting sued for an accident that I can't even remember for $2,000.00. I get to the office and find out that I am pivotal for the companies' revenue for the week and I have 2 hours to get us there. My ankle is broken and swollen to the actual size of a grape fruit. My cell phone died while I was on the phone with the largest account I have ever seen. With my wounded ATL, I am forced to shovel 10 yards of mulch after I get done with this flaming blumpkin of a day….That should only take me until midnight to complete, plus its only 90 degrees with 80% humidity. Hey Karma…Why don't you just cum in my mouth you rat bastard invisible relentless force of negativity. I have been a good man for just under 2 years and yet I still haven't appeased the god of Karma. I wish Karma was a little Hindu man that I could randomly give atomic wedgies to. How many good deeds does it take to get a blessing in return? I am close to giving up and just knocking off banks and liquor stores for a few years. But of course I will keep trucking along and becoming a better man one day at a time…But I hate it! I would rather staple a badger's tail to my coin purse than keep up this thankless lifestyle. Just so all of you know. When I help you or do a good deed or volunteer to do something nobody else would for you, I am secretly performing various voodoo rituals to your voodoo doll. It's fake. It's not real. It can't be. I am a miserable pile of garbage that would like nothing better than to run through a kindergarten recess line while stiff arming all the kids. I have the urge to bash puppy's heads in. I would feel better if I could release a wild cougar in a bus filled with nuns. I want to destroy all the neighbors' concrete geese that they clothe like a bunch of retards. I wouldn't mind drinking until I gave myself alcohol poisoning. What a delicious death that would be. The only reason why I can’t is because in some sick way, I want to see what will happen to me next.