Flora

This is in no way a blast at a particular race…. You stink. Deodorant isn’t for the rich anymore. We can all use it now. How do you even get that type of stink? You have to take stink very seriously to be able to get to your level. It has to be deliberate. Nobody would choose to walk around with a stench that hits the nose like a high speed collision. Take a moment and realize how you are affecting those around you, you instant nose bleed. I can not imagine you have much of a social life at all. You are certainly avoided at all cost. The reason why, is not the smell itself…It’s the stenches ability to remain long after you have left. You leave a film on any surface that can only be removed by paint thinner and a belt sander…Sort of a slug trail if you will. I remember the first time I was punched in the face by your flora…It was Wednesday, September 19th at 3:17 pm. I was in the elevator going downstairs to enjoy a quick smoke break. The elevator stopped on the 3rd floor…The door opens…and SMACK!!!! Your odor overwhelms all of my senses. My eyes began blinking uncontrollably. Blood began to trickle from my nose. I couldn’t stop coughing. The ride down 2 floors seemed like I was stuck in some twisted time loop from hell. Then finally after the longest 60 seconds of my life, the elevator door opens on the first floor and created a hot garbage inspired back draft that nearly dropped me. Needless to say after I sprinted out of the elevator I noticed the funk was still with me. I sincerely did a lap around the building hoping I could outrun your toxin. That didn’t work. I smelled your landfill cologne the rest of the day. Please take the Old Spice Challenge and stop invading the air. Once you shower you will feel better and maybe just maybe, you’ll no longer have that haze that similar to fresh black top in the summer sun.