Environmental Services

Friday after work I stopped outside to smoke before I got in my car. I have never left work this late so it was getting dark. The ash trays outside were filled to capacity due to the majority of employees in the building being smokers. The ash trays were absolutely littered with cigarette butts; it resembled one of those anti abortion demonstrations with all those white crosses in perfect rows. The obviously foreign cleaning lady was making her rounds cleaning the glass doors, vacuuming, dusting, etc. until it was time to service the ash trays outside…This is where I puked..She comes outside sweating like a pervert in a nudie booth..Beads of sweat scattered all over her forehead and upper lip, hair pointing in every direction like she just got done with a nooner with the maintenance man. I have seen these 2 pyriforms (pear shaped) locking eyes as if imagining breaking out in a fat frenzy, him straining to lift her F.U.P.A. to gain access to his humid target. Her feverishly trying to unbutton her pants to release the flow of oxygen that is cut off by the lack of extra material so her renifleur (A sexual deviant with an un natural attraction to body odors, especially urine.) prince can get to her gunt. Enough about their forbidden lust. Moving on to the reason I rant now… The female foreigner waddled outside and kneeled down beside one of the over filled ash trays and dug right in with no gloves. Her sausage like fingers sifting through the dirty ash tray created a legitimate chew back. I actually threw up just a little. Then with a violent hack the white gelatin flew from the corners of her mouth as she began to cough, she placed her hands over her mouth to ensure the cigarette butts wouldn’t get her germs. Brilliant! Protect the germ covered waste from your germs but expose your mouth to countless strangers spit and viruses. Can you imagine the filth she transferred to her gaping mouth as she inhaled to catch her breath? I am certain she probably comes from a dirty country but even religiously confused heathens have a health code. So now I am stuck walking through the building with gloves on to protect myself against all the bacteria that she willingly spreads with even the slightest touch. And this is the person that’s supposed to clean… By the way…Foreign cleaning lady..Please stop stealing the quarters in my desk drawer. I would use the cameras that you are on as evidence but I don’t want to drag Sasquatch through a mistaken identity case.