Buy Me A Beer

You ever meet the kind of woman that gives you that old fashion feeling that you would drag your skin tag through 2 miles of broken glass so you can beat off in her shadow? I have met a few kick ass chicks in the past few months but none of them hold a candle to Cloverleaf chick. I’ll talk about her in a minute but first I would like to point out my usual observation of the female species. The majority of women are insecure, self conscious, clingy, controlling, over emotional and incapable of logic. Every now and then I do run into an anomaly. Cloverleaf chick is physically flawless. Her attitude is straight rock & roll. Body built for sin and a personality like Mallory Knox. Needless to say, she’s waaaay out of my league. She complimented me on my attitude which means that she is seriously mentally disturbed and I dig that! She is the perfect contrast to the other beasts I have been running into lately. “So, are you going to buy me a drink?” The answer is no. Instead I am going to kick you in the stomach and punch you in the ear. Why do women think it’s acceptable to pan handle at bars? It’s worse than the tunnel after a Red Wings game. Don’t beg or ask a stranger to spend money on you. You are a bum with a job. Just because you shake your ass and bat your eyes you think a man should buy you drinks? Don’t you realize the only reason to buy a bar whore drinks is to inhibit her decision making process? If someone offers to buy you a drink and you respectfully accept then that’s ok. But asking for free alcohol proves that you are a promiscuous hobo looking for your next crotch post for the evening. These are the same flesh sheaths that make the same ol statement every time, “I am sick of being hurt. I just want a good honest man.” Well sluts, here I am, at the most honest point in my life and I am telling you that unless you show some class and stop playing the buy me things and I’ll sleep with you roll, then all you will ever be is a holding tank for excess baby batter. I am sure your parents are proud of their living sperm bank.