Boom Boom Room

It all started at a local Livonia sports bar. My Yiddish webmaster started off the night by making sure that no one in attendance was going to take home a woman from that bar. The bar was very busy and filling up fast. Abe asked for a table for 12. The smoking hot spinner replied "Do you have a reservation?" Abe stated he tried making a reservation 2 days prior in which the hottie responded "2 days is not that far in advance during the Christmas season sir." I don't know if he was mad that she couldn't accommodate 12 people at 5:00 on a Friday or if it's because she said Christmas season and not "holiday"? His people are pretty sensitive about that. Regardless he sprayed the biggest can of Bitch Be Gone I have ever seen by treating every hot hostess there with utter disrespect. Fast forward about 2 hours and we are now at a dirty little strip club. I have been to my fair share of strip clubs but this one by far exceeds the dirtiest in terms of dancing staff. The first waitress that served us was 10 times hotter than any dancer in the club. My first thought was, why is the wait staff hotter than the dancers? Naturally, I have no inner monologue so I asked her. She had no good reason. Of course the inevitable happened. We were bombarded with hookers. They were everywhere in a matter of seconds. I know I am on their turf but I have to stock up on germ killer before I go to these places. I cant get the image of Johnny wet spot leaking his nut butter through his khakis and it soaking in to this hookers inner thigh. Then I think of the amount of semen that these women ingest through way of osmosis. They also like to kiss every man in the club on the cheek to make them feel "special". Can you imagine the amount of dead skin, coco butter, and saliva transferred from their co-hookers lips that had Johnny before they did? Now you see why I am anti-stripper? Back to the story. There was 1 stripper that wouldn't take a hint after being told several times to leave. This hooker was destroyed drunk. She would take any glass or bottle off the table and drink it regardless of who may have drunk from it. Fate it seems has just as much a sick sense of humor as I do. This hooker asked me if I wanted a lap dance. Naturally I said no. She claimed I didn't know what I was missing, and I was ignorant to all pleasure because I didn't want her to grind another mans stale seamen into my pants and touch her spit covered body. She completely disregards my plea for her to leave and decides she wants to swing her drunken leg over the table to try and straddle me. Naturally she knocks over my $7.50 beer and spills it all over the table. I send the hooker to the bar to replace my beer. She returns with my beer and some napkins to wipe up her mess. After the mess is cleaned, she decides to grab the only other beer bottle on the table and start slamming it. It took her 5 guzzles to kill the bottle. After she finished her drink she started to cough a little. "What is in this beer?" She screamed. "I have no idea" I replied. I took the bottle and smelled the contents…THIS HOOKER JUST DRANK A BOTTLE 75% FILLED WITH CHEWING TOBACCO SPIT!!!! I almost puked all over the table. What kind of drunk drinks an entire bottle filled with chew spit and doesn't notice until it's been consumed? A filthy crotch grinding stale sperm sander that's who. The trip wasn't completely disgusting. I had the pleasure of one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen sitting next to me the majority of the night. This woman was way out of my league. Perfect smile, flawless complexion, and eyes that saw right through me. Her body was chiseled out of stone without any imperfection. The perfect trophy wife for some Metro Homo later down the line. This is the kind of girl that you would drag your meat through 2 miles of glass just to beat off in her shadow. I know that a little extreme but I am trying to paint a picture of this stunner. She actually made me feel as if I would have a shot with a beauty of her caliber, when in all actuality she did her job. She made me spend money and gave me a good time. My hat is off to you, strip club hottie waitress. You made a man that hates the majority of the human race, realize why.
I hope you decide to leave that whore cave and pursue those X-ray tech classes you mentioned. If you don't do that soon you will end up grinding some old mans ranch shooter for the rest of your 20's.