Boobies

Boob jobs are good. Tits are supposed to be a sacred thing. Boobs are not supposed to look like 2 gym socks filled with vomit nailed to a board. They must be firm and standing at attention at all times otherwise they are useless. Ladies, if you find that your tits are 4 inches from your belly button then please get a boob job immediately. The recovery time is quick and the results will “raise” a man’s interest. Now let’s talk nipple. If your nipples cover the majority of the squeezing surface then you need work done. No man wants to take off your bra and look at a hot plate. The only thing worse is if you cannot even fill out a training bra and your areola resembles an oil spill. Small tits and large areola is just as bad as watching “2 chicks 1 cup” (Google it genius). I know that the first response I am going to get is “Not all men like the same thing”. That of course is your man lying to you to get you to STFU! When it comes to a woman’s cans, ALL men like the same thing regardless of what they tell you. Now, on the other hand, if your bags are cartoon huge and way past the DD range, then you are most likely fat. If you are indeed fat, then ignore all words above. You don’t actually have nice tits, you have storage containers. Your tits aren’t really tits; they are just huge masses of fat that had no other place to go because your fat ass was occupied. Lipo is a different article all together. And finally, to all the women who were kind enough to let me play with their boobs, I say “thanks for the mammories”, I’ll never forget them.