itode : eCommerce research
This is where Technology Meets Marketing
I want you to go down a slide made out of a cheese grader, nude. I want you to be simultaneously sodomized and orally raped to resemble Chinese finger cuffs. I want you to crap from your mouth from now on. I want you to sit backwards in the bathtub with your feet propped against the wall and launch your head backwards towards the faucet. I want you to scream whenever you talk no matter where you are. I want you to get the flesh eating disease only on your lips. I want you to jump on a bike with no seat and let the pole fill you up. I want you to wake up to your Grandmother giving you a hot Carl. I want you to uncontrollably lunge your teeth into your knee cap with every step. I want you to think spitting in the face is the new handshake. I want you to brush your teeth with a toilet brush. I want you to keep trying to bite your spine in public. I want you to open every door with your mouth. I want you to place your tongue on the arm-rest of an escalator for 1 full rotation of the rubber belt. I want you to punch your own mother in the back of the head when you see her. I want you to quit in every job interview. I want you to pole vault with your balloon knot. I want you to cut off your own nipples with nail clippers. I want you to knock with your face. I want you to go for a jog only to find an African Condor swoop down and dig his talons into your shoulders and beat you with its wings for the remainder of your run. Last but not least…God forbid you are found dead…I want you to be found nude, smiling with your thumb up your ass.