There is a horrifying woman that holds my heart in the palm of her hands. This woman can activate my gag reflex with mere words.

Get on your knees…unzip my fly…pull out my bag….prop it up in your hand with wrist bent backwards like Hamlet holding Yoricks skull and lick my balls until chapping occurs.

I am a contradicting, hypocritical, preaching on my soap box, self destructive hand job with crooked teeth and a bad hair line.

Twas the night before Christmas and all around town
Society is crumbling right to the ground
Our children are snug and tucked in their bed
While our soldiers pump Iraqi's all full of lead

I received some excellent although obvious advice from a friend stating “If you stop making bad decisions eventually your karma will improve.” Well, I have.

Well the world rotated yet again and FMD is now 30 years old. With the life that I have led I truly didn’t know if I would make it here on not. Now that I am here…I don’t know how to feel.

When I am wrong, I admit it. I wrote a post aimed at the bow of my very good friend called, Forgotten.

Abe Froman tells me your luck is what you make it. He is obviously a misled little fraction of a heb. Bad luck exists and I am a prime example.

If you think for an instant that by sending me complaints based on my content is going to shut me down that you are as ridiculous as the thought of your opinions being considered in a man’s world.

I want to dip a wooden boat oar in roofing tar, light it on fire and beat the skin off the bastard that keeps taking the last cup of coffee and not making a fresh pot.

The worse comedian in the world is life itself. Regardless of the supposed well thought out decisions I try and make for myself, it ends up the same shit sand which that I just got done eating.

Your face looks like un-troughed concrete. You rush into every relationship vagina first. It appears at first glance you may be a decent human being until 1 hour of interaction with you.

DO NOT PARTY WITH THE GIRLS FROM THE TROY HOOTERS!!!

The fecal boomerang has definitely made its round trip back into my life. Let me sum up Friday the 6th for you FMD fans. My car got towed this morning.

I want you to go down a slide made out of a cheese grader, nude. I want you to be simultaneously sodomized and orally raped to resemble Chinese finger cuffs.

There is a difference between a bum and the homeless. A bum is the lowest life form on this planet. They plague us with their constant loitering and their insatiable hunger for spare change.

You have no girlfriend, wife, friend with benefits and you can’t afford a hooker. What do you do?

I am a time bomb waiting to go off. With as much BS as I have endured there will be a mushroom cloud the next time I break down.

FMD'S input on the whole uncomfortable dating scene for men: You ask a girl out or she asks you out. The time and date is set up and you begin to prepare.

Once again I find myself in dirty Detroit strip club. My hippie friend wanted to celebrate his birthday by going to the local brothel. Naturally, he was completely at home in this germ jungle.

This one goes out to all of the mentally impaired woman that I have had the sad pleasure of crossing paths with.

Viagra, Cialis, Extenze, or any other boner assistance you can think of are nothing but cop a out for women that can’t do their job!

I am proud of all 47 of you sick twisted individuals. You have all proven me wrong.

Gas prices are at an all time high. Blame the president? I don’t think so. If its all his fault then why can I find cheaper gas the closer to the hood that I go?

[Comments Closed Due to Cat Fight -Abe Froman] You must have lost your tiny little minds!

I may have a heart attack before finishing this rant so bear with me. I drink a lot. I don't plan on stopping until I am a raging useless alcoholic.

What goes around comes around. This is a real constant that will always be. Decisions are the ingredients that make up Karma's fodder.

You can wrap a piece of sh!t in tin foil but inside is still a piece of sh!t. I see this everyday.

Get out!

Drink, drank, drunk is the way I would describe myself last night. After approx 12 shots of tequila 2 jager bombs and 4 beers I was obliterated.